It is Sunday morning. Our last at 307 N 3rd St. We pack it all up this week and head east next weekend. To say I am tired is an understatement. To say that our family is a little raw and tender is likewise an understatement. This last week alone, we navigated all sorts of lasts: my last group practice, my last privates, Eider’s last performances, his last soccer games, Maple’s last swim meet…. This morning Eider and Chris are at a lacrosse tournament for the last games with that team. All of the typical words: whirlwind, rollercoaster, barrage, all of those feel right for where we are right now.
My anxiety is up a bit as a result. I am a little wary of simply the sheer effort of getting our entire lives packed up and loaded over the next 4 days. I am acutely aware of the effort and output required for 6+ hours of teaching that I have scheduled for Friday afternoon. And, maybe above all else, I am down right nervous for the 1000+ mile drive that I need to make next Saturday and Sunday in order to arrive in time for our closing in Vermont Monday morning. The drive is not so much the thing. I do something similar at least once every summer and generally twice. The state of my 7 months pregnant body mind heart complex is the thing. I am worried for my state. It is real. I feel physically vulnerable which dovetails nicely into feeling all-the-ways vulnerable. Which I do.
I’m going to make it. And I am not without support. And I am confident it will make one heck of a story after the fact. But… still.
I think it is made more difficult by the steady low level grief I carry in my heart. As much as I am so clear that this is the absolute right move for my little clan it is still very real to be leaving behind the hard won fruits of the beautiful lives that we crafted for ourselves here. And I know that it isn’t really the end of most things, but more a shift into new chapters that draw such strong influence and identity from the ones we lived here. It helps me to think about it that way. And it helps me to take action in the direction of staying connected and engaged on a variety of levels. To the community. To my work. To my passions as they live in the work of both my family and myself.
So, I have been weaving together different strategies of a sort during this liminal phase. Looking toward ways of staying in the flow of my vision for my own path of practice as well as how to continue to support that trajectory for others. It is coming together. It is exciting for me. It buoys me during this transition. I have been plastering lots of dates up on the homepage and they are all driving my heart of inspiration. I am thrilled for all of the opportunities unfolding in front of me and am so whole heartedly eager to watch how it all comes into being. Even as I get ready for another very family focused stage of my life I am so inspired and grateful for all of the ways I can continue my work autonomous of my family, and yet, as ever, nestled deep in the center of that identity and force.
I truly do love dreaming up and then working toward ways of nurturing path of practice in myself, in my family and also in the folks who seek out that work. It feeds me. I like tending to myself and putting effort into staying fresh and dynamic with that. I like to scout out and then take action toward cultivating meaningful and growth oriented engagement for not just myself but for my kids too. Making sure that we have the soul food we need is possibly one of my most clarifying and grounding acts. And I love love love helping others get connected in any ways I can. To themselves. To their potential and purpose. To their truth. This is my purpose. And the heart of everything. It is the fuel behind my vision and effort around Life of Practice. And more recently, it is the motivation for my involvement with Beautycounter and my interest in assisting not just my family but anyone who wants to grow their confidence in making healthier choices for themselves and the planet. For me, it is all connected and I always lean in the direction of propagating connection and growth oriented decisions.
OK I’m out of time for this space this morning. Time to dive in to the lists. Thanks for reading this far. I am pretty certain that my next update will be from our new home on the mountain. And I will have lots to share in terms of what life is looking like and what comes next. Hopefully, by then I will have a newsletter that you can sign up for with some more streamlined ways of staying connected. Fingers crossed for me, yeah?
If you are so inclined, please check out our registry- I will be updating the ship address today because not another thing shall enter these doors that must be packed and moved!
And one last thing… humble brag perhaps? This morning my incredible local student body is having the first of what will be monthly group practices in Madison. Round robin leading style. Collective connection. I could not be more delighted at this development. It is the very heart of what I have wanted to build in my time here and IT. IS. HAPPENING. If you’d like to get connected to this group of dedicated yogis, let me know and I’ll send you their way.
So much love.