It takes immense courage to try new things. To learn something new from someone new. To form a new agreement with someone or a group of someones, often a new language is required. And to even define the terms that creates the language, there has to be a common understanding. Finding that is difficult. We are awkward and clumsy. Unsure and shy. And yet, most likely there is a longing that is propelling us forward into the new and if we do not act on the desire, we sell ourselves short. We miss out. We perhaps even severe a part of ourselves. The vulnerable part. The brave part. The part of us that calls out: I want to try! I want to see! I too, want to do! Or at the very least, know if I can.
Right now, I am watching Maple have her first private trapeze lesson. I am nervous for her. I feel a discomfort that maybe she feels, maybe she doesn’t, as she and this new teacher feel things out with each other. But I also feel her heart. She has a big desire here and she is pushing into it. A moment ago she came over for a drink of water, her brow covered in sweat. I told her how proud I am and acknowledged the awkwardness of getting to know this new thing. And she shot back, with all sincerity: my whole life is awkward. This could sound sad or strange or pessimistic to someone who doesn’t know this girl as I do. What I heard instead was her awareness of the necessary discomfort contained in these beginnings. This swells my heart for sure. I think she knows what is required of her to reach into dreams. At least on an energetic level. And as much as the beginning of something may unnerve her a bit, she is no stranger to the discomfort.
She’s on a trapeze. She is so strong. She is so creative. She is so very much herself and that, to me, is all my desire made manifest.