For the better part of last October and November I was so weirdly sick that best way I could describe how I was feeling was that my blood felt poisoned. I had felt it coming on for quite some time but hadn't wanted to deal and was just pushing through til the inevitable system failure. Which I got to. The depth of it lasted a little over a week, but I couldn't get out of bed for a bit and felt as though I was pinned down by the weight of the universe. I was getting some help and support from some folks in the healthcare field that I trust and we were weeding some things out and for a while I was functional solely because of a fairly straight forward yet intense lemon and olive oil concoction. Anyway, I am almost embarrassed to admit what the fix turned out to be. As a Wisconsinite I should really know better. But somehow, a little over a year ago or so, I had unconsciously stopped taking the daily Vitamin D that I know is crucial for my mood and wellbeing. Well, turns out it is an important helpmate for much more than that. Vitamin D helps our bodies process so much input, from other vitamins and minerals to hormones. It took only a few weeks of taking a high dose again before I started to feel systemically better than I had in ages with a return to my natural energy levels. Needless to say, I have been having a somewhat transcendental spiritual experience with Vitamin D. A rebirth of sorts. My mind had been very much spinning into a wormhole of chronic and pathological illness. And now I say: NOT TODAY.
This was the lead up to my 40th, which was for sure not how I had been hoping to pass into the next decade. But the upswing was great and so far 40 seems cool.... Moving past feeling like shit has been great. I had time and space to enjoy a pretty leisurely Holiday season with my family. We kept it super mellow and had a very cozy time with one another and family and friends.
Maple turned 12 last week and launched us all smack dab into life with a pre-teen. As ever, she continues to amaze, inspire and challenge me and I just feel so lucky that I get to be close to her and watch her grow. Eider has a few more weeks as a 9 year old and the combination of the 2 of them and the radical clip that childhood seems to move at does not ever seem to let up.
So, this is what I am in right now. A whole lot of gratitude for my life and my people right now. And right now it is active gratitude which feels so good. Like thank god really. Some times it is so fucking hard to connect to the grace and the good fortune of it all, even when you know you should, but right now I got it and I figure I should probably sing it while I do.
While I'm just singing the love for a minute I really have to say what a beautiful time I have been having teaching. I have been teaching at The Studio in Madison for 5 years this month and it is really good for me to reflect on how much growth my time there has afforded me as a teacher. I have met so many folks that have come to mean so much to me and who I have also had the distinct pleasure to watch grow and mature in their endeavors as well. Anyway, I have been so well supported there and have had so many exciting teaching opportunities provided for me. I am enjoying it all thoroughly and feel inspired to continue to cultivate a community of practice and wholeness.
There are a few more update-y type things and gratitude appreciation pieces that I would like to share in this space, but that will have to wait a little bit. More soon.