There is so very much on my mind these days. More than enough really. And at the forefront of all of it is that this sweet girl is turning 10. Ten. TEN.
I do not really have any profound thoughts about it and yet, I am brought to my knees by the simple truth of it all the same. As ever, I find myself considering both what has changed along with what has stayed the same over a measure of time. This time an entire decade. At once it is just a blink, a breathe, a gasp, yet as Maple gives testament to: it is an entire lifetime.
I do not have such big insights about her turning 10. I do marvel at the fact that Chris and I have managed to keep an entire human being alive for an entire decade. (And oh my god another one for good chunk of time as well!) In fact, that more or less sums up the completely grand and profound sharing I offered at the opening circle of a New Year's Intensive down in Texas last week at the San Marcos School of Yoga. Which is interesting in that therein lives an example of something that has stayed the same. I am still spending time in the presence of Christina and the teachings another decade down the road, still trying to make the connections and derive the meaning of what exactly it means to be Meg and live in wholeness. (I am still learning all sorts of interesting things from her, such as how to be even more specific in how I move and breathe in the body and that adding a pat of butter to a date before adding the cashew is even more delectable).
Even though I do not much care for the word, I am beginning to understand what the concept of Tween is in reference to. Maple is very much in between 2 stages right now. She is not a little girl any more, she is clever, and insightful and funny, and also able to negotiate some of the more grown up and complicated truths of what it means to be alive in the 21st century. And yet, she has not left the innocence and wonder and magic of childhood behind yet. In truth I hope that she never does, I hope that I never do, but I do know that there is a change coming and that it is as bittersweet as it is inevitable.
For many years now Maple and I have both loved the dolls made by a Canadian dollmaker, Bamboletta. Maple has collected a number of dolls over the years, and as a long time doll lover myself, I have been happy to support her in this love. Maple, as she does with most things, has taken it up a notch or 10 and has begun over the last year to make her own dolls and stuffies, modeled very much after these handmade dolls. So, when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, it was no surprise at all- rather such a delight- that she asked for a doll. The timing was actually perfect as they has just developed a new doll intended for older children. In the words of the maker, Christina:
My intention with my new style of doll is that it be a representation, one of life's 'book marks', of being 9 years old. Before the turbulence of the teen years when self doubt comes knocking. When , I believe, you are pure in the essence of who you truly are. Such a special and fleeting time - this in between age. The world is full of magic and wonder and all feels possible.
So, it feels perhaps like the final doll. Or maybe the final doll of that sort. I can imagine her continuing to acquire dolls and other handmade toys, but more out of a curiosity in making her own and less for the childhood snuggles.